In February of 2011, I left my corporate job as an HR leader in a large, respected company where I had worked and achieved a fair amount of success over the last twenty years. There were a number of events and circumstances leading up to this "decision" as well as a shifting inside of me that was causing me to feel unsettled, unaligned and longing for more. I had been on somewhat of a spiritual journey for the last ten or so years before that, catalyzed by a bitter divorce. But this decision catapulted me into a whole new depth of spiritual exploration and commitment as all the structures of my identity and safety started to fall away.
I have always wanted to write and like many of us feel I have stories to tell. Stories that inspire others or make some difference for them or for others to simply relate to. My stories told in my way. Maybe even invoke a laugh or two. After I left my company, and started to deal with the shock - I started to notice things differently. Seeing life through a different kind of filter as my old identities fell away. I also started to realize that almost every day brought new insights merely from observing and reflecting our daily life experiences. And that the "story" could be told as I lived it. And so, this blog is born.
My first inclination was to call this blog "The Spiritual Pilgrim". Its purpose would be to journal a deep and serious examination of a spiritual awakening, in this case mine. But as I began to think about the "stories" I would tell - of my sometimes mundane, other times interesting, often quirky, but always filled with gifts of wisdom tales of my everyday life - I realized that they could and should be told from my unique perspective. And that they could be told with lightness and humor as well as with depth.
I have always wanted to write and like many of us feel I have stories to tell. Stories that inspire others or make some difference for them or for others to simply relate to. My stories told in my way. Maybe even invoke a laugh or two. After I left my company, and started to deal with the shock - I started to notice things differently. Seeing life through a different kind of filter as my old identities fell away. I also started to realize that almost every day brought new insights merely from observing and reflecting our daily life experiences. And that the "story" could be told as I lived it. And so, this blog is born.
My first inclination was to call this blog "The Spiritual Pilgrim". Its purpose would be to journal a deep and serious examination of a spiritual awakening, in this case mine. But as I began to think about the "stories" I would tell - of my sometimes mundane, other times interesting, often quirky, but always filled with gifts of wisdom tales of my everyday life - I realized that they could and should be told from my unique perspective. And that they could be told with lightness and humor as well as with depth.
Why can't I still learn and grow, seek and find my voice, my Self, but do it in a way that looks and feels like me! So here is my attempt to share with you what the journey on the spiritual path feels like as I am going through it and how it gets processed from the vantage point of this middle aged, (slightly) neurotic, definitely imperfect, New York/Jewish born woman. (now living near Washington D.C.)
While outwardly, someone like me may seem quite sane and competent, inside the mind of someone like me can sometimes look a little crazy (except to other New York Jewish born slightly neurotic persons ) - full of angst and anxiety, worry and fear, guilt and shame. Sometimes prone to hypochondria or catastrophizing or endless loops of made up stories in the mind that have no basis in reality. Sound familiar? If so come inside...
The point of sharing the REAL me is to let you know it's okay. You are not alone. We can all sometimes feel a little crazy no?? Especially when we are awakening. We just think we’re the only one. We don’t want to tell anyone whats really going on inside of there. But I know that all of us are really more alike than not. Its when the desire to learn to live our lives without or with less of these pain provoking emotions becomes more compelling than to live with them, that we get catapulted onto the spiritual path. Regardless of where we were born, or what religion we were born into or where we lie on the neuroses continuum, we all share the fact of our humanity. We all will have to face similar experiences of joy and pain as we human beings navigate our way through this passage we call "life" in this sheath we call a body with minds that sometimes can drive us crazy.
And what we too often have forgotten is that lurking beneath (or perhaps more accurately above or surrounding) this vortex of human existence, each one of has a soul where our "true self" lies. I believe that the underlying patterns and pitfalls that seem to be charting the course of my path to spiritual awakening are characteristic of most people's experience as they begin to peek, then peer, then dive beneath the surface of our outward selves.
So I invite you into the sometimes dizzy, crazy inner world that is mine and long to share with you how I see it. How I make mistakes. How I learn. How I grow. How my mind can often take me over and run away with itself. I am recognizing that every single moment. every day, every encounter contains with it an opportunity for another lesson and another chance to practice.
It is my wish that you, the reader, will find some connection and maybe comfort in the stories I tell about my journey and some recognition with some of your own.
It is my wish that you, the reader, will find some connection and maybe comfort in the stories I tell about my journey and some recognition with some of your own.
I hope that you will comment and write me. It is my wish that this site be a place for communion and sharing, not just a one way delivery platform for my thoughts.
